A cup of coffee changes the world.

European and American coffee shops offering "suspended coffee" service

■ Zhang Baoyu

In a coffee shop, if someone suddenly handed over a free drink, would you gladly take it, or would you hesitate? Charity is a good thing, but this kind of charity is often met with suspicion and disdain in life. An occasional setback in doing good made Sandy Mann, a professor of psychology at the University of Central Lancashire in England, start thinking about why helping others and accepting their kindness has become so difficult in daily life.

"from beginning to end, the most common reaction was doubt."

Because of her work, Sandy moved her family to Preston, near the old English city of Liverpool. One morning, she took the children to a nearby coffee shop for breakfast. Because her 7-year-old son didn't want coffee, Sandy decided to give away the extra cup of coffee in the set meal to other guests for free.

"I thought someone would embrace it and feel happy." "on the contrary, no one wanted to take the cup of coffee," Sandy said. "I saw a lot of confused eyes that seemed to wonder if I was spitting in the coffee, or if it was poisonous." Sandy had to give up. "it shouldn't be like this! Even I wonder if I have done something wrong, but I just want to avoid waste and want to give it to others. " She said.

Frustrated unexpectedly, Sandy began to think about the "philosophy of generosity" for others and to understand why people reject kindness from strangers. For the next 13 days, she showed up at the coffee shop almost every day, bought an extra cup of coffee and tried to give it to others. On rainy days, she also tries to provide umbrellas or pay for parking so that the guests at the back of the line check out first.

"I don't expect anything in return, but I hope to form a butterfly effect that conveys good deeds and eventually let love flow all over the world." Sandy said, "but from beginning to end, the most common reaction was skepticism. People have been taught since childhood that strangers can cause trouble and even danger. "

Lower "the height of the giver"

In the process of consulting relevant books, Sandy found that there is a long history of buying coffee for others. In Italy a century ago, Neapolitans would buy two cups of coffee when they visited a local cafe, one for themselves and the other at the counter for cash-strapped people to claim later.

This kind of charity is called "coffee to be used". Although it is an easy effort, it is still praised and used a hundred years later because of the strong human feelings behind it.

Italian writer Lucia Crishenzo (Luciano de Crescenzo), author of Coffee to be used: wisdom in Daily Life, has said that this is a very elegant and wise approach, in which donors and recipients do not meet, generous people are not labeled as showing off their wealth, and the latter need not be grateful.

The current sluggish European economy has made the concepts of "pending coffee" and "giving for others" popular again. In Bulgaria, neighboring Italy, 150 cafes have spontaneously formed a "suspended coffee" camp to promote this charity. According to the Huffington Post, Starbucks in the UK also practices philanthropy in this way, converting each cup of "suspended coffee" into cash and donating it to charity.

After comparing her approach with "suspended coffee", Sandy decided to "sell" the coffee in a different way. First of all, she lowered the "height of the philanthropist"-still offering a cup of free coffee, but Sandy made it clear that this was something her son did not want to drink. "there will still be people who refuse, but I clearly find that their doubts have dissipated. They will smile and say thank you. Finally, a woman named Rachel took the cup of coffee, and next week she found a chance to buy someone a drink.

"compared with what I did before, the later approach was more logical, but at the same time less selfless. The point is that people are more receptive to the latter approach. " Sandy said. Now, her proposal of "giving for others" has become a popular and influential activity. searching for relevant entries on the Internet, you can read a lot of heartwarming stories about helping others.

Sandy recorded the joy and embarrassment of doing good deeds around the world into the publication of giving for others: a cup of coffee changes the world. Sandy says she will donate royalties to patients with muscular dystrophy.

As a clinical psychologist, Sandy advises people with depression to take part in public welfare. She found that being charitable is very helpful in treating depression and can stimulate the happiness and satisfaction that patients have not seen for a long time.

"it's not a cure, but it's very effective. People with depression always feel that they can't find the meaning of life or the value of their existence, and it's good to simply do some charity work." Sandy advises people to do what they can when they feel comfortable, such as smiling at others or chatting happily with the salesperson. "praising others is a simple thing, but also the most popular act of kindness."