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How to pretend perfectly at Starbucks? (list of props attached)

Published: 2026-08-25 Author: World Gafei

Last Updated: 2026/08/25, STARBUCKS, which is known as one of the three holy places of petty bourgeoisie (and two are Haagen and Ikea furniture), has always been a favorite of people who install B, and I am excited to write this bad article so that all people can share it. I now have a new level of understanding of the installation of B, people's understanding of things always shows a spiral rising state. Pretending to be B has become a performance art for me.

STARBUCKS, which is known as one of the three holy places of petty bourgeoisie (and two are Haagen and Ikea furniture), has always been a favorite of people who install B, and I am excited to write this bad article so that all people can share it.

I now have a new level of understanding of the installation of B, people's understanding of things always shows a spiral rising state. For me, pretending to be B has become a kind of performance art, which is art! Do you understand?

Props are indispensable in performance art. Here is a list of props I have issued for you:

Magazine

First of all, you have to bring a magazine, what? "Reader"? Bah, you only deserve to go to the railway station to buy a cup of soymilk and squat to drink. All Chinese magazines are PASS! You must have the original English version! What? "Reader's digest"? I said, are you done?! According to the petty bourgeoisie Bible-Paul. According to Fossel's Class, even magazines such as National Geographic and TIME will only expose your vulgar little middle-class style. It's ridiculous that we always talk about so-and-so on the cover of "TIME". At least we have to take a copy of "Economist", or the Chinese version of the last two magazines can be given away for free. I won't tell him.

Mobile phone

If you use a mobile phone, you have to bring an Iphone. No matter how bad it is, the version will be cracked into Arabic or Hebrew. If you have face, the phone will ring first: Bonjour! Besides, Guten tag! If you say HELLO, you are embarrassed to say hello to others.

Notebook

You also have to bring a notebook, LV. When you answer the phone, you take out Montblanc's pen and write it in the notebook, frowning.

Notebook computer

You have to bring your laptop, too. All women use Imac or Ibook, and men all use IBM. Anyway, Starbucks has wireless WIFI in it. Turn on all the BT and donkeys and take up the network bandwidth to death. In this way, only you can surf the Internet and make others jealous. Remember to install Kingsoft Ciba on the computer before you go, otherwise you won't be able to read the English magazine.

Coffee cup

Coffee cups must not be used in the store, not just a large porcelain cup, Hermes Hermes, a thousand yuan each, to the store cashier finished passing the cup, and the young lady said politely: please use this cup to hold coffee, I can't get used to other cups.

Coffee has to be freshly brewed, preferably just like eating hot pot, bubbling in front of you, that is called taste.

Car keys

Sit down and throw the car keys on the table, either BENZ or BMW, and you have to AUDI the last time. You have to throw it hard to startle everyone, and then say to yourself loudly: the quality of this German product is good, and you can't break it so hard. (friendly reminder, can't you afford a key if you can't afford a car? go to TAOBAO.)

Clothing

Dress you must not wear a suit and tie, people joke, want is casual temperament, first wear a long-sleeved POLO shirt, then equipped with a long-sleeved corduroy shirt, and then a Scottish plaid shirt, what is style, the more collars, the more stylish, put on slippers on your feet, it is always in the air-conditioned aristocracy ah.

Dollar

Then go to the bank to change dozens of one-dollar bills, throw them on the table when you leave, and listen to the waiter yell at the back when you cross the hall: Sir, you forgot your money! This is the effect you want. You slowly look back and smile at her and say, "Oh, I'm used to tipping coffee in the United States, so just keep it!" So you can walk out of STARBUCKS in the eyes of all admirers. The sky is so blue and the air is so fresh. What a perfect act of pretending to be B! "

Source: Sohu self-media "Aijiahui"

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