Why Coffee Makes the List of Pretentious Habits

You’re sitting in a café, sipping an overpriced latte, wondering why everyone around you seems to take their coffee—and themselves—so seriously. You’ve seen the memes, heard the jokes, but there’s a kernel of truth: certain habits scream 'I’m trying too hard.' One viral list ranks the top behaviors of urban trend-chasers, and to your surprise, coffee drinking lands in the top two. But why?

According to the list, simply drinking coffee isn’t enough—you have to do it the ‘right’ way: black-tie tastes in a paper cup, smoke with your espresso, and complain about indigestion before noon. We broke down the full ranking to reveal why coffee made the cut and what it really says about modern lifestyle signaling.

What Does It Mean to ‘Have Taste’? A Satirical Breakdown

The original list, tongue firmly in cheek, outlines the 10 surefire ways to spot someone putting on airs—what we might call 'urban affectation.' These aren’t real rules, but they reflect how certain hobbies, habits, and preferences have become shorthand for sophistication, whether earned or not. The goal? To appear refined, worldly, and just a little out of reach. And yes, drinking coffee is one of them.

Coffee and Cigarettes: The Sophisticated Duo?

Tucked into the list at number six: 'Drink coffee, smoke cigarettes.' The criteria here are hilariously specific. Your coffee must be freshly ground—not instant or mass-market. If you go the canned route, you’d better know the origin, roast style, and flavor notes, or risk immediate exposure. As for tobacco, filtered cigarettes won’t cut it. You should be smoking a pipe or cigar, and definitely not spitting or flicking ashes in public. Bonus points if you only light up under moody streetlights or while philosophizing at 3 a.m.

Lifestyle Signals: From Tennis to Late Nights

Further up the list, other ‘refined’ habits include playing tennis (with more actual hitting than ball-chasing), bowling (aim for a 180 average), and taking taxis instead of buses—even if it means draining your paycheck. The list also mocks late-night living (sleep at 3 a.m., wake at noon), disdain for fast food (Starbucks over McDonald’s), and a preference for obscure films and non-mainstream music. The common thread? Spending money and time in ways that show you're ‘in the know.’

Why Coffee Made the Top Two

At number two, the list jokes that a true urbanite should suffer from stomach pain—presumably from too much coffee, late meals, and smoking. Then, at number one, comes the ultimate pose: 'blue melancholy.' You’re not allowed to be happy. Real trendsetters brood. They drink long island iced teas under moonlight and write poetry about lost love and jazz-inflected loneliness. In short, if you’re cheerful, well-rested, and digesting without medication, you’re doing it wrong.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is coffee really considered a pretentious habit?

Not inherently—but the way some people consume it can be. The list jokes that real 'trendy' coffee drinkers only drink freshly ground brews, know their beans' origins, and look down on instant or mainstream options. Drinking coffee becomes pretentious when it's used as a social signal rather than a simple pleasure.

Why is tennis on the list of affectations?

Tennis is cited as one of those ‘refined’ sports that trend-chasers claim to play. The requirement isn’t just playing, but playing enough that you hit more balls than you chase. It’s less about athleticism and more about projecting an image of leisure-class sophistication.

What’s the deal with smoking and coffee?

The list satirizes the cliché of the coffee-drinking, cigarette-smoking intellectual. According to the ranking, if you're going to smoke, it should be a pipe or cigar, and you must do it with dramatic flair—never haphazardly or in casual settings. It’s all part of the performance.

Does the list take coffee culture seriously?

No—it’s a satire. The list pokes fun at how certain behaviors, including coffee drinking, are exaggerated to signal taste, class, or sophistication. Real coffee lovers might grind their own beans, but they don’t do it to show off (at least not intentionally).

Why does the list mock happy, well-adjusted people?

One of the biggest jokes is that true ‘trendy’ individuals are perpetually melancholic. Being too happy, well-rested, or digestion-proof is seen as evidence that you’re not part of the ‘in’ crowd. The list exaggerates this to highlight how absurd status-signaling can be.

FrontStreet Coffee Picks for Coffee Poseurs (and Lovers)

If you actually want to enjoy coffee without the affectation, try our Ethiopia Humbera for floral brightness, Panama Humbera for complex citrus and stone fruit, or PWN Golden Mandheling for heavy body and classic spice. These single-origin pour-over stars let the beans shine without needing a moody backdrop. Freshly roasted within 5 days · Orders placed before 17:00 ship the same day · Next-day delivery across most of Guangdong Province.